What are you doing New Year's?

One of my favorite tunes is the title for my post. If you haven't heard it, you should check out Harry Connick Jr. or Ella Fitzgerald's versions. I love it because it is somber, yet hopeful. It's dreamy and sexy. I've always dreamed of a guy playing it for me and asking me out for New Year's. That hasn't happened yet.......in fact as I reflect my New Year's Eves have drastically changed in the last 16 years.
There was the New Year's Eve in college where I sprained my ankle on the way IN to the party and had to be on crutches (in the snow and ice no less!) for evah.
There was another New Year's Eve in college when I came home with a friend and so didn't have "our car" (that would be the car that my brother and I shared) and had to borrow my parents' vehicle. As I was preparing to depart my mom said "Be home at 11:30". I was exasperated! Here I had been making my own decisions and living on my own for at least 3 years and she was telling me to be home before the all important kissing moment! I stomped in to the living room and asked my dad if he needed the car at 11:30 and that was why I needed to be home. He said no and so I asked my mom if she planned on going out at 11:30 and needed the car. Of course she wasn't and I now understand since I am a mom that she just didn't want me out on the roads at a dangerous time of night.
There were numerous drunken New Year's Eves because I LOVE champagne!!! There has always been good food and plenty of it. I spent one New Year's in Chicago with my best friend and her now ex-husband.
New Year's now that I have 2 kids who have only recently started sleeping through the night is quite different than those memories. We've had fondue on a few occasions with my husband's brother and sister in law. We've also gone out to restaurants a few times with friends from church. Those were good times.
It used to be so easy to stay up until midnight. Now I'm thinking of having 'midnight' happen at 8 right before our kids go to bed so they can participate on the horns and kissing. They won't get to see the ball or the Acorn drop (that's what they drop in Raleigh NC) but I think it would be fun. Dh got some horns and fun hats to wear.
So as with most posts my point comes at the end. And it is that my life continues to evolve.
So, what are you doing New Year's?

A sigh of relief

Ahhhhh. We made it. The hustle and bustle of the holidays has officially dropped by at least 50%. I am ready to pack the stuff up and get it back in the attic. I've never felt like that before. Maybe it is because we started early this year. I usually like to take the tree down New Year's day, but I think I will start removing ornaments today. We STILL have presents to open thanks to dh's big family. Every year we are amazed at how much they give us and every year we are overwhelmed. And now that all of the anticipation is over, on comes the let down. I've been feeling for a lack of a better word down. I know it has to do with the time of year. I like it warm and sunny, now is *supposed to be* the rainy, gray time of year. So I don't get to enjoy the sun as much and it effects this former California girl. I think it also has to do with this time of year being so connected to family and events with family. It's like a slap in the face or maybe a subtle jab that no one will be calling from my side of the family on the holiday to wish us anything. I should be used to it by now, but for some reason I have this naive side to me that hopes every year will be different. And then it is not. I did get one call from may Aunt. Thank god for her and her kind words reassuring me that everything that has happened in my family is not my fault as they want me to believe. That I am a good, loving, successful mother and teacher who makes her proud even if I don't make my parents proud. I really value her opinion. She and I have similar personalities and have always been close in heart even though we are not in miles. She said she wished she could be the mother to me that my heart needs and that is exactly what I needed to hear. She helped me see that I have to let the relationship with my parents go and that it is not going against anything in the Bible to do that because I have tried to make amends with them. However, I think I haven't forgiven them and that is something I will have to work on this year. So for now I am a motherless daughter attempting to raise her own child in a manner to which I am not accustomed. Which is scary territory. I need a mentor in this area, so if you pray, would you pray that God would bring someone in to my life to fill that position? Also pray for financial wisdom because we are seriously struggling and getting a second job just ain't going to make up the short fall.
So, this isn't exactly what I started out writing when I sat down, but it was on my heart and I needed to get it out. Feel free to share thoughts and advice. You could be my virtual sounding board. I like the sound of that.

Rashes, dry skin, and hives - Oh My!

Another hurrendous week teedled by and thankfully I am on what is known as a "break". We might have to debate whether I am actually doing what dictionary.com says a break is on another post; "An allowance or indulgence; accommodating treatment". Hmmmm. Anywho on to what this blog was REALLY supposed to be about.
I noticed on Thursday that Grayson had a reddish colored patch of skin on her left hand. Still haven't figured out where it came from. Then today, the little buddy incurs some hives. Once again, don't know where those came from. And finally since it has turned to winter here (just for a few days - it will be back to 65 tomorrow!) we all seem to have the itchies. So dh went and bought a nice new big old humidifier. It is super quiet which I like. Now maybe I won't wake up feeling like I slept in the desert and inhaled most of it through my mouth. That's a nice picture isn't it?!
I have decided to monitor both kids' situations. I've applied Aveeno lotion to Grayson's hand and it seems a little better. The little buddy just got a round of ibuprofen because the rash from the antibiotic on his little hiney seems to be getting bad again and I think he might be teething. His gums look they might have some square raised puffy spots.
It's Saturday night. The kids are asleep and dh went to the bar to watch the Panthers lose. It is weird to be here all alone. Not sure what I will do. Maybe watch a movie? Take a bath?
Probably just go fall asleep in bed reading. Yeah, I think I hear the flannel sheets calling me now.

Rules of Christmas from a Toddler

This is the first year that my oldest child is able to comprehend the holiday season. We have lights outside that she helped put up and she turns them on each night when we get home. We have a song from "Santa" that she loves to play over and over and each night we do read about how Jesus was born and that we are celebrating his birthday soon.
One of my favorite things to do this season has been to drive around the neighborhoods each night for about 15 - 20 minutes and view lights. Last Friday night we spent a good 45 minutes patrolling. It was great. We had Christmas music on in the car and stopped for an Eggnog milkshake to top off the event. Even my husband said it was fun!
However, through all of this I am noticing some funny things that I am calling the Rules of Christmas - from her point of view. I will add to this list as I think of more.
1) ALL lighted reindeer are Rudolph.
2) Eggnog is an acceptable substitute for milk at dinner.
3) There is only one verse of Rudolph that matters and you must sing it over and over and over. "Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say...."
4) Santa hats make interesting slippers.
5) All presents will be for Grayson!

I'd love to hear what other toddlers are thinking this year.

Soooooooo

Long time no type. Thank you to those who stop by regularly expecting something new. I can sum up the last 6 weeks since I've written in one word.

Sick.

That's right. It's been one bug or another. I was trying to think of how I could put it in a festive holiday-type song. Here is a tidbit:
5 office copays
4 ear infections
3 different viruses
2 antibiotics
1 worn-out mother. (that would be me)

I won't go in to all the gory details but I have 1 official sick day left. That's it. Then we go in the hole (MORE!) each time I stay out. And they have had fevers - high ones. Not the kind that leave after 24 hours.

I also had a blogging identity crisis. I thought perhaps I shouldn't be writing about what I was writing about and then if I wasn't what would I write about?! Like, do you really want to hear about how I grapple with how to handle the holidays without speaking with my parents? How I can't figure out how to honor their request and honor God's command at the same time? Or how my MIL drives me crazy although she is well intentioned? Or how I get so angry at my inept husband that I long for the single days except I wouldn't have my sweet pea children? Or how proud I am that my daughter hit a boy who spit on her but I had to give her consequences since hitting isn't the best response? Or how I just can't seem to shine at anything since I feel so overloaded and don't have anyone to help?

And then. It's the holidays. There are so many years of negative stuff that have happened around this time of year for me that I tend to just withdraw. And for that I say I'm sorry.

Got any ideas for me on the identity thing? Or advice on the relationship thing?
So - enough about me. What's been going on with you?