A sigh of relief

Ahhhhh. We made it. The hustle and bustle of the holidays has officially dropped by at least 50%. I am ready to pack the stuff up and get it back in the attic. I've never felt like that before. Maybe it is because we started early this year. I usually like to take the tree down New Year's day, but I think I will start removing ornaments today. We STILL have presents to open thanks to dh's big family. Every year we are amazed at how much they give us and every year we are overwhelmed. And now that all of the anticipation is over, on comes the let down. I've been feeling for a lack of a better word down. I know it has to do with the time of year. I like it warm and sunny, now is *supposed to be* the rainy, gray time of year. So I don't get to enjoy the sun as much and it effects this former California girl. I think it also has to do with this time of year being so connected to family and events with family. It's like a slap in the face or maybe a subtle jab that no one will be calling from my side of the family on the holiday to wish us anything. I should be used to it by now, but for some reason I have this naive side to me that hopes every year will be different. And then it is not. I did get one call from may Aunt. Thank god for her and her kind words reassuring me that everything that has happened in my family is not my fault as they want me to believe. That I am a good, loving, successful mother and teacher who makes her proud even if I don't make my parents proud. I really value her opinion. She and I have similar personalities and have always been close in heart even though we are not in miles. She said she wished she could be the mother to me that my heart needs and that is exactly what I needed to hear. She helped me see that I have to let the relationship with my parents go and that it is not going against anything in the Bible to do that because I have tried to make amends with them. However, I think I haven't forgiven them and that is something I will have to work on this year. So for now I am a motherless daughter attempting to raise her own child in a manner to which I am not accustomed. Which is scary territory. I need a mentor in this area, so if you pray, would you pray that God would bring someone in to my life to fill that position? Also pray for financial wisdom because we are seriously struggling and getting a second job just ain't going to make up the short fall.
So, this isn't exactly what I started out writing when I sat down, but it was on my heart and I needed to get it out. Feel free to share thoughts and advice. You could be my virtual sounding board. I like the sound of that.