The plot thickens.....

So......after 3 months of no communication, my mom emailed me. She wanted me to know that her glaucoma has worsened over the summer and she will have to have surgery on October 10 (I think that's the date, I was still in shock that she e-mailed!). At the end of the e-mail she asked if she could call Grayson for her birthday which is about 2 months away now. I must say I am torn. She sounded so down.
I'll be thinking out loud below, so if you feel one of the following options is better, then please reply, or I'm open to other options too.
1) Part of me wants to not reply. I mean they did say no communication. Is this only "speak if you are spoken to?"
2) Shoot out a nasty reply denying her a phone call. I mean it's only a phone call. Grayson probably doesn't remember who Nana is because she is 2 years and almost 10 months and she can barely remember yesterday let alone her Nana who visited in March.
3) Send a short succinct reply saying it's okay to call and we'll be praying for ya.

I might be making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I think if I let her call that is signaling the door is open. Open for communication and possibly more manipulation or attempted manipulation that I don't want to be a part of.
The last few months without them hasn't been that hard. We had our anniversary and their anniversary and I thought about sending a card with the new pictures of the kids, but I resisted because they said no communication unless there was an emergency. I wanted to talk to them when my job was up in the air because that's something that you want to talk to your parents about since they have more life experience.
I had made up my mind that we wouldn't accept presents from them for birthdays and not send any for them for the holidays. I still want to stick to that, but then feel like that might be a little hard-ass. Then I start to remember all the times they have hurt me and pulled this crap and I'm like "NO, they are lucky you acknowledge their existence at all!" Okay, that last sentence seems pretty dramatic, but I am a thespian, so what can I say.
Anyway, I was hoping by blogging about this I would be closer to an answer, and now it feels like I am further away from one. But I know that you all will help me focus and come up with a good solution. So....what do you think I should do?
In other news I must confess a slight crush on one of our grocery store checker/bag boys. There was a period of time in August when I was "forgetting" things so I could go to the store when he worked. He's just so cute.....he has blonde hair, a great tan, and tight abs, biceps, and calves. He seems very outdoorsy and probably hasn't a clue that I like staring at him. Me being an almost middle-aged, still nursing with 15 lbs. of baby weight on me mom. The reason I am confessing is because the other day he came over to finishing bagging my groceries as I was paying and I BLUSHED!!! and couldn't find the words to answer the sentence that the checker had asked me as I was cashing out. Sad isn't it, but it makes me look forward to the dreaded deed of grocery shopping. Now THAT'S motivation!!