I am officially the WORST daughter. My dad called to tell me so tonight. He doesn't EVER call. I guess you could look it up in the dictionary and see my picture or something. And to some degree it is true. I have been WAY overloaded at work and neglecting e-mails, children , spouse, and housework for at least the last 3 weeks. The end of the school year is just like that. So I do claim responsibility for part of my actions. But I do believe it takes two to tango and my mom was sending me snarky/provoking e-mails and I was trying to politely say nothing. The result is that we are not talking. And see here comes why I am the worst, I felt a little sad when he told me not to call, but mostly I felt
relief.
Relief that I don't have to act like nothing is wrong when there is something HUGELY wrong. Relief that I won't have to endure 12 hours of travel with an active toddler and 7 month old for a few days of pretending to know one another and enjoy each other's company.
Relief that I won't have to go through the family actions of calling or e-mailing without the family value of unconditional love.
Unfortunately when they do call, I know that it means something is REALLY wrong, like maybe my Grandma died, or my dad had a heartattack.
I feel like this might be a good thing. You see the only way I feel like I can preserve myself and the few shards of self-esteem or dignity I have left is to put up my shield to deflect the negativity, hurt, crazy, and superficiality. It's almost freeing.
I'm not sure how to proceed so that my children will know their Grandpa and Nana without the interference of this huge chasm between their parents and grandparents. You see, my husband is quite upset that my dad told me not to call or write. He feels that I shouldn't talk to them until I get an apology. And knowing my parents, I'm sure they are waiting for me to apologize first.
All I ask is that you pray we'll get a peaceful resolution and wisdom for me to know what to say and do. Of course, I've been praying for that for years.
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3 comments:
Aw man. I want to think on this one before I respond, but just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending you big hugs. ((HUGS))
I think your hubby is right. I mean, no one keeps in touch with anyone (even their own parents) as much as they would like to....especially a mom with two young kids.
And you mom has to know this, she had young kids once. So if your dad says not to call, then don't call. And while that relationship with grandparents is a great thing, a happy mommy is even better.
Hey sorry I am just reading this but I had to comment. Your parents have been pulling this adolescent crap since before I met you (that was in college in the 80's so that's a long time!!). Honestly!!! I remember the hurtful letters that your mom wrote to you then...I really could just call them up right now (as I wanted to in college) and give them a proper talking to. You are NOT your parents and while they had an influence on you they by no means can define the woman you are today!
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