The Lost

No, it's not a t.v. show. It's a waste of time because I have LOST too many things in the past week. I'd like to chock it up to mommy brain, but jeez. First on Tuesday I *thought* I left my classroom with the key. On Wednesday when I went to enter, I realized I did not have the key. The whole day finding the key was on my mind. In fact, I don't think I got but a few things done because I was trying to retrace my steps mentally. Luckily on Wednesday my student teacher had it on her desk! Thank goodness because there is a $50 fee for replacement and God knows I don't have that kind of money. Then on Friday I went to get our babysitter some cash....only to discover that my debit card is gone. I decided NOT to report it because I could have put it in my jacket pocket and I'm cheap (did I mention that?) and wanted to hunt some more unsuccessfully before surrendering. Did I also mention that I hate wasting time looking for things that did not make it to their properly allocated space?! ( that sentence sounds horribly anal when I just reread it!) Alas, by Sunday I had exhausted all areas and gave in. The new card will be here within 3 - 5 business days. The pisser is that I can't access my bank account online because the login is tied to your card number.....which I don't know since it hasn't arrived. I NEVER (I'm talking like before children) used to lose things. I already lost one classroom key this year (that's just karma trying to tell the rest of the school that I shouldn't be in 6th grade IMO) I think there is a secret blackhole in the cosmos that holds all my missing stuff, including all those single socks in the dryer. A Bermuda triangle if you will. Maybe when I die I'll have access to that Bermuda triangle and find all that I've lost.

Sunday Fun

It's official - summer is here!? Here is Grayson sitting in her chair, eating a popsicle in the Elmo sprinkler.
It was a beautiful day. Grant got to try his first popsicle.

My favorite part was when Grayson ran up and said she had "sparkly" hair. I tried to get a picture with the light just right to capture this phenomenon. It's days like these that make me long for more.

Love/Hate Relationship

I am limited on the amount of time when I shop, but I LOVE a bargain, and I NEED to not spend much money, so Wal-Mart is the perfect place for me.......but.....
I HATE it too.
I HAVE to go there once a week to stock up. I can get more food for the family there than any other place. And if I need something odd, I don't have to make another trip to a different store. This is especially important when you have a 2 yr. old who can only sit in the cart comfortably for about 20 min. and it is 5 o'clock p.m. and your 5 month old needs to nurse in the next half hour. I've been comparison shopping since last summer and watch the flyers like a hawk and this is my conclusion.
I HATE Wal-Mart for many reasons. Let's start with the carts. My local Food Lion started providing antibacterial wipes at their entrances near the carts. I find this small perk comforting. It was drizzling the last time I took the kids to Wal-Mart which meant that the seat was wet - could we find a papertowel to dry it off? No, we also passed our dry cart on to a couple entering in the same situation with their child. Next area of hatred.....the organization. Now I know they sell everything, but there has to be a more logical way to get it in that huge place. I mean, one should not have to spend twice their allocated shopping time in search of one item, my latest being floral wire - shouldn't it have been in the craft department near the fake flowers? I never did find it. Also if I need help finding something there isn't anyone around to ask. My financial and time budgets are both limited. The final area of hatred is the check-out. No matter how many they have open, there is ALWAYS a line - with at least 3 people, even the self check-outs. There has only been one time I did not have to wait in line and that was at 7 a.m. on a Monday. Unfortunately for most of the year I am on my way to work at this time. I'll save the rest of my comments on their workers for another rant!
And yet, in spite all of its flaws.................
I'll be there next week. Am I a hypocrit?

5 months old

today Grant is 5 months old. I can't believe it has gone by so quickly. Happy 5 month birthday little buddy.

A mighty wind

Does this tree look half full or half empty? LOL
This is part of the branch that was laying across the driveway.
Daddy and Grayson took care of breaking down the branches.

Then on Monday we lost power for over an hour at school. THAT was exciting. We're okay now. Hope everyone else is.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Not Grandma like we thought, but Grant! The weather was too treacherous for Grandma to venture over safely. So, my sweet almost five month old boy sat in the high chair for the first time tonight. I'll do my best to include a picture. It's another milestone in his life. I was reading my friend Rebecca's blog and she lamented kids growing up being bittersweet and I have to agree. It's so exciting that he is starting to eat big boy food and sit up, but then it is sad too because he is not my BABY anymore.
He is SO precious....which leads to my next dilemma. We have had 3 great days together. We took the most glorious nap together this afternoon. I love being with him, and yet
I love teaching.
I sway between wanting to be a stay at home mom and a working mom. Good days, I wish I was home, bad days I am so glad I get to go to work. And then comes the guilt monster for feeling like I don't want to be around my kids when they are misbehaving. Well, right now it's really only my 2 yr. old who tells me "NO" to just about everything. It causes me to pray! I really don't know what to do with her, other than do my best to be consistent and patient. I feel like I can't do anything right and everything that she does that is wrong is my fault. Tomorrow I return to being away from them for almost 50 hours a week and we'll see how I feel.

Eau de Urine

It seems that my 2 yr. old is having some potty-training setbacks. Nothing major, just being so involved in the "Little Einsteins" cartoon or watching her dad mow the lawn that she can't take a minute to actually go and sit on the toilet. It seems two of the areas we will be able to use Resolve carpet-cleaner to clean-up and two of the other times it was in the kitchen, so that could be cleaned up with paper towel. I just don't want the house to SMELL like we've been potty-training. There was a rather large accident on the non-cleanable rug today. I'm pretty sure it soaked into the pad underneath. Hoping that having the sliding doors and a window open will help it to dry out. Some people have nice smelling homes courtesy of Glade, Yankee candles, or perhaps Bath and Body Works. Some of my favorite scents include Eau de parfum by Calvin Klein. I'm hoping the title for our new scent will not be Eau de Urine by Grayson.

Relocation cleaning

At approximately 3:30 I receive a call from my husband confirming that his father and step-mom will be arriving in a couple hours to begin the weekend o' festivities for his birthday. At this point I am relieved because that means I do not have dinner responsibility other than eating and maybe a little clean-up. No preparing - YEAH!!! That means more playtime with the kids. However, I can only focus on one important task at a time and this week's task has been to prepare the back room which was formerly the computer/music/boxes-of-stuff-we-don't-want-to-deal with room to a room for our little girl. Which means that although I was home 3 days without children, I have not attended to housecleaning much, which means that our house was not "company ready". And although each husband and wife relationship is supposed to split the housework, we all know that it mainly falls on the female, so when it isn't complete (EVEN if it's not your area) it reflects on the female, NOT the male. And I hate looking bad, even though my parts of the house were pretty clean. I quickly did some dishes and stuffed the last 2 nights' plates in the dishwasher which meant I only had to figure out what to do with the bills and other paperwork items that I always have trouble controlling on the table. So......
I did it.
I am not proud, it was a means to an end. We needed a place to eat dinner.
Here is what I did. I may not be the queen of it, but I am probably a duchess or something. I picked stuff up from the kitchen table and side table, put the paperwork in to a giftbag and transported it to the backroom. I relocated the items to create an appearance of cleanliness. However, this presented another problem. It revealed the Christmas clothe I had put to cover the sidetable. I replaced a few items so that you could only see the plaid and NOT the holly! LOL. This quick displacement even left me time enough to sweep the floor and scour the brownie crumb that got mashed into the linoleum leaving a suspicious brown mark. Remember, when in doubt, ship it out!

You're such a mom!

Those are the words that one of my friends (who does not yet have children) said to me yesterday as we were preparing to go to see "Blades of Glory". Here is why; I was shoving a pair of socks into my jacket pocket in case my feet got cold in the theatre. Gone are the days of smuggled candy or beer, I was just trying to keep my toes warm. Because once my toes are cold, then so is the rest of my body. It's similar but not yet at the point of my own mom who would make us put on a sweater or jacket each time SHE was cold!
I haven't decided if it is an insult, I mean I'm not at the "Kleenex in the pocket" stage of momhood yet, but in some ways I am relishing it as a compliment. Think about ALL the great things your mom or you do for your kids each day? See, that's a compliment.

The heartbeat from long ago

Ya know how night-time is supposed to be for sleeping? Well, I have an almost 5 month old and a 2 yr.old. So *sometimes* night-time is for sleeping. It's also for eating according to Grant my son who has to have me every 2 hours! LOL.

As I was rocking my daughter to try and get her back to sleep around 3 or 4 this morning( I'm not really sure what time it was because "things" got cranked up around 2 and I think we all finally settled back to sleep between 5 and 5:30) I started thinking. Missing sleep may be no big deal to some of you I'm sure, but I'm a 10 - 12 hour of sleep a night kind of girl, so being up for 2 to 3 hours does not produce such a sweet person the next day - now multiply this by a couple weeks and you've got someone who can only be described as cantankerous. Anyway, back to my original thought which was that even though daddy had been in to visit her and do the same thing a couple times, she seemed to be headed back to sleep now. I started thinking that I'm sure having her inside me for 9+ (she was late!) months and then almost a year of nursing must have created some type of bond that she doesn't have with her dad. And that is why mommy might be more effective at some things than daddy. Or why she has to have mommy instead of daddy. Her head was on my chest with one ear on my heart as we rocked and she spouted random thoughts. The talking dissipated and I listened to her breathing and could almost feel her head go up and down as my heart beated. This tympanic lullaby echoed back comfort from when she was growing inside me. It was a familiar heartbeat from long ago lulling her back to sleep.

He loves me!

My husband just called to tell me he was thinking of me and loved me. Isn't that sweet? I wonder what he wants to buy.......

Girl's Day

Today was girl's day! I took Grant to daycare and Grayson and I spent the day together. We started by visiting my favorite local bakery - the Tasty Bakery - for donuts this morning. I sort of had to bribe her to leave daycare without crying. Then we made up this little jingle "It's girls day, it's girls day!". We didn't exactly know what was going to happen on girl's day, but I was determined to see the sweet little girl I gave birth to about 2 years ago emerge. It seems the terrible two monster has overtaken her body. I wasn't sure if it was sibling rivalry or the terrible twos that was causing her to want to hit her parents and tell them NO. We proceeded to do some chores - cleaning mom and dad's bathroom and vacuuming the living room floor. She is a great helper and got a kick out of shaking the bathroom rugs. We jammed to the Barenaked Ladies while cleaning. I mean what better music to scrub a toilet to? Then it was time to take a shower. She loves to take a shower with me, in fact she inspected my C-section scar and asked "Boo-boo mommy?". She even offered to kiss it - yes a little weird, but that's what a 2 yr. old requires when she is hurt, so it made sense to her to kiss momma's boo-boo. It took about an hour for us to get dressed because my kid just doesn't want to wear clothes. I hope this tendency does not predestine her to some kind of stripping job. Once we got clothes and make up on, it was time to head to Target. My brother's birthday and my husband's birthday both fall this week. Got Easter placemats on 1/2 off. We were lucky the Icee machine was repaired AND had a new flavor - Green Apple. Then on our way home we stopped at Wendy's for nuggets and fries - the lunch of champions (NOT!). I chose the Chunky chicken Frescata. She discovered Ranch dressing is good "dip" for fries. After a very long potty break and repeated reminders to wipe top to bottom ( any suggestions on how to perfect this are greatly appreciated!) we were down for a nap. The phone disrupted mine, but at 4:15 I woke her so we could go get her brother. I look forward to the day at the end of the week with her brother. I saw shades of the girl I knew before her brother was born, and also the two year old demon child. It's days like today that make me wish I was a stay at home mom.

The days before Grant was born

I guess I should start a few days before he was born....like the Wednesday before he was born. I went to my weekly doctor's appointment expecting to get the usual pee-in-a-cup, blood pressure, measure the tummy check. As the doctor (Dr. B to be exact) starts feeling my belly and says he wants to check my amniotic fluid with the ultrasound. I'm thinking "hurry up I've got to go get Grayson in a few minutes". He starts the machine and squeezes some of the jelly on my tummy. He slides the wand around and around and around. Then he cuts it off and tells me I'm low and we need to induce! Oh My GOD I'm thinking. Immediately,my mind starts racing through the list of things I have yet to accomplish but need to - grading 52 science fair projects and research papers, making 9 weeks of sub-plans for 4 different classes, arranging more specifically for someone to care for Grayson while I'm at the hospital, PACKING MY BAG!!!!(do I know where that tube of lanolin is that I stashed so that Grayson wouldn't use it as toothpaste?!), putting together the cradle and making a spot for it in our bedroom ,etc. "I've got two more weeks until this kid is supposed to be born". I wait at the desk while Dr. B calls the hospital to arrange my induction - they offer me 6:45 the next morning. UMMMMM- NO that won't work for me! After a few more times back and forth, I get a spot on Saturday morning at 8:00 a.m. Perfect ( or so I think!) He tells me they will make it real special for me and that makes me feel better because I'm just not quite ready mentally for this kid to be here. I'm ready to not be pregnant, but I had my heart set on a December baby and this will definitely mess up our Thanksgiving plans. Plus, I'm still trying to get over the HORRIBLE stomach flu my husband so lovingly brought home to us about a week ago. I'm on the phone as soon as I'm out the door - first to daycare to let her know why I'm late and then to Greg my husband. Then I call for a substitute. I get Grayson and slap something together for dinner. We enjoy one of our last times as a family of three laughing and loving.