A few notes of thanks

Dear Governor Easley and NC legislature,
Thanks for committing yourself to the future of our state and cutting $3 million dollars for gifted education. I don't have the numbers on how my salary WON'T be increasing, but I want to say thanks for that too.

Dear Husband,
Thanks for folding your towel and hanging it so it doesn't touch mine and make it all wet.

Dear bees nest,
Thank you for not stinging my children when they are out playing near you.

Dear children,
Thanks for all the giggles and hugs and silliness.

Dear God,
Thank you for my small group, playgroup, and family that continue to love me in spite of all my faults. I have learned so much from them. You are truly awesome. I know I have a lot more to learn, but thanks for your patience while I attempt to use your words to guide my life.

Same stuff, different summer

I have this problem.

EVERY SUMMER.

It's like somehow my body knows it is July or something. I'm not sure if it is the change of temperature, less structure in my day, or the fact that I don't have to be up at 5:30a.m.,(probably that one!) but I can't sleep. It is quite frustrating. I mean, I don't even have any lessons to plan (which is one of my favorite things to do when I can't sleep! I get some of my best ideas!) and I really don't have much to worry about so I just lie there.....

in the dark.....

waiting....

to fall asleep....

It's quite frustrating because it causes another bad cycle - the need for a daytime nap. I REALLY don't want to become dependent on that because it's a hard one to break or carry on during on the school year. HA HA. I have just trained my brain to quietly shut off at 2 o'clock during the school year to simulate a nap.
Anyway, I'm stepping up the frequency and intensity of my exercise routines this week to see if it helps. I think I'll also use some of my massage gift certificate and see if I can't get some of the aches and pains in my bones and muscles worked out.
On the up-side - I do love seeing The Daily Show and the Colbert report in real time!

This is why I teach

For those of you who haven't known me long, I am a middle school teacher. I have been for 15 years now. I can't say I love every minute of it, I mean it is a job and it is a LOT of work most of the time. This year I made a shift in my position. Out of the regular classroom and in to what is called a "facilitator's" role. I am supposed to help teacher's kick their lesson plans up a notch for the gifted children in the school who haven't been growing on the end of grade tests. It turned out to be a difficult adjustment and WAY more political than I knew education could be, but I made it through. At one of my darkest points this year I received the letter I will type below. God is amazing to know what I need and provide it at the right time. You see, I was thinking of leaving the profession. All teachers (at least here in NC) do. That is because they squeeze the ever-living life out of us to get the most of the tax dollars they pay us with. I knew when I entered the profession I would never be in the top socioeconomically - I didn't know that my kids would qualify for reduced lunch because of it!? What I'm trying to say is that teaching is quite a thankless profession and we often don't get to see or hear from the kids we taught about how they turned out, which is why we cherish things like I'm going to share below. Ultimately, I think we want to know that we made a difference in someone's life. And so please read, get a tissue if you are tender-hearted, and if you have children in school - write their teacher a nice note.

Mrs. B,
Hi, this is Chris W. You may remember me as a former student. It's hard to believe that here I am about to graduate, and I had your class in the eighth grade. I just wanted to say thank you for being a great teacher. I don't know if you realize the impact you made on my life. You did more than teach me Language Arts. You showed me a lot about life. I still remember sitting with you and talking about the Third Day and Mercy Me concerts. It was so cool to have a teacher that shared the same interests as me. I believe it was your unique style of teaching that made me enjoy your class the most. It was you who inspired me to become a teacher. I want to teach seventh grade Language Arts. Well, thank you so much for everything.
Chris W.

And on that note I will return to the classroom, hoping to impact other students the way I did Chris.

A shadow of myself

Sometimes I must confess I feel lost in this life I'm living. I haven't figured out why. I speculate a few theories.(which I might go in to another day) They have to do with the mistrust and lack of guidance from my parents. I'm a motherless mother - attempting to do things differently from the way I was raised. It is definitely a challenge to guard all the words that come out of my mouth before they exit it. The legacy I want to carry on is not one of hurt but that of love. Quite a big accomplishment when I look at back at my childhood. What I'm leading up to is this feeling of being lost makes me feel like I'm a shadow of what I used to be, at least with the good qualities and hobbies I used to pursue. Perhaps those talents are just on hold while my children are little? But they too feel as if they are withering from the lack of sunshine and nourishment. I could make a list of the many things I used to do before I had kids that I enjoyed and no longer do. It seems like the person I was even 5 years ago is here, but only in the background. Somehow, becoming a mom consumed "me" and that's what makes me a shadow of myself.
In other news.... I made it through my first gym workout with my husband. What he doesn't know is how much I hate the gym, sweating, and exercise in general. I have a free 30 day membership. Only 29 more days.......He is just trying to help me achieve my goal mentioned in a previous post. Did I mention that I hate the gym?